Pot and Pan: Bunions and Breast Enhancement Cream

potandpanheaderHad to take the old git to the hospital yesterday about his bunions, times like this I almost feel sorry for him. I think he got them from wearing those great big old army boots for years on end while we tried to defeat Napolean. Dad says sometimes he never took them off for weeks, fancy a cheese sandwich?

A Nasty Bunion.
A Nasty Bunion.

Anyway got to the hospital on time then sat there looking at each other for a couple of hours until I went to get a coffee each.Left dad sitting there reading his new magazine “The Modern Nudist” eventually get back to find him gone with his magazine on the chair like it’s been abandoned. Had a wander round and found a security guard not snoozing and told him my old dad had disappeared, as he gave me a very funny look on account of the nudist magazine I was still holding. Time to face the truth, he’s gone again so I settled down to wait events and have a read of the modern nudist. Just getting into an article about a group of young ladies who enjoy playing cricket in the nude, very attractive they are too especially Enid the bowler, when I heard an alarm bell ringing. It seems dad had met an old flame of his who worked there, got chatting and ended up with her in the mortuary with her reliving their youth on a trolley.

Devil Worshipers.
Devil Worshipers.

Unknown to the randy couple an attendant was having a kip on another trolley and got violently woken up with dad’s banging and Hilda’s screaming and fell off the bloody trolley only to see dad bearing down on him with his dick at full mast. They each thought the other was a ghost, so the attendant whacks dads chopper with his rolled copy of ” A Hospital Guide to Preparing a Stiffs ” dad then falls on top of an elderly chap who’s just died from a nasty case of enlarged testicles.
at which security arrives to what he thinks is a load of devil worshipers having an orgy.

To End With …

A very rich tourist in Spain gets taken to an extremely expensive restaurant and told the special of the house is a fantastically dear meal if he wants to try it. He agrees and is served with two incredibly delicious meatballs so tasty he almost passes out he asks the manager what it is, who explains it’s the testicles of the bull from the bull fight today, the tourist  arranges to go there every night for this very special meal. All works well except one night he is served two considerably smaller  ones, he eats it anyway and although it still very nice he asks the manager why it’s smaller.  “Well you see Senor” the manager explains “sometimes the bull wins”.

Start a new job next week rubbing a new breast enhancement cream onto womens breasts to test it out, it’s £100 a week, not much I know but it’s all I could afford.

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